I was thinking today about how much I hate talking on the phone. There are only 3 people who can call my phone and actually expect me to answer the first time: my wife of course because I always love hearing what she has to say (sarcastic voice); Mark Dorris, although I’m not sure why because while he is my best friend, he may be the most boring of all my friends; and anybody that will give me the opportunity to make money or who just want to give me money. That’s really it. If I am having a great day, I usually answer more calls than that, but on just an average day don’t expect to hear anything other than my lovely voice on my voicemail. Don’t get me wrong. I will call you back if I like you, but it will be when I am ready to talk on the phone. Yes, I know it’s selfish, but I never claimed to be unselfish so don’t hate me for that alone. I will however, respond to text messages and emails very quickly. So do me a favor and don’t call me. It’s gay. Text me. And if you haven’t seen The Hangover, stop what you are doing and watch it. It might be the G.O.A.T. comedy. But if you are under 18, make sure to watch it with a parent.